i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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