the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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