Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
