your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
