Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
