ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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