i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
