i may or may not be watching the land before time
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Randomize
