11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
