So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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