id be glad to
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
