Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
