I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
