Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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