How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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