:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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