Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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