Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
