That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
