just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize