I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize