i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
