oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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