so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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