haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
