You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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