What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
