Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
