the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
