well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
