dude i'm inner monologue high
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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