I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
should my penis look like a turkey
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
