Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize