She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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