thus making me awesome and them whores
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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