...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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