Umm I'm too high to move.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
