Yo dont text me then not text me
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
