I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
