Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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