i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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