Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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