do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How does one acquire holy water?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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