somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
