Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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