1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This house was built for laser tag.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
