onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
