I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
