I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
false alarm, still single
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