Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
