The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
