I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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