I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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