I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize