Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
