for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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