You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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