There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
well you can't waste a boner
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
