i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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