If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
