What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
