we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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