i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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